1. |
The Kissing Disease
01:58
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At the beginning we were just having fun,
Two kids on a lark
I didn't really think much of it at first,
But that's how it starts
Started showing warning signs, now it's critical
My hands are shaking all the time, I don't know what to do
I spent better than a week and a half
Trying to figure it out
Started feeling kinda weak in the knees
And then it spread to my heart
Got the diagnosis and it's incurable
Thought it's not contagious I contracted it from you
I got the kissing disease
Now I get the symptoms every time you're sitting with me
I struggle to breathe and can't speak 'cause
I just wanna lay one on you
I got the kissing disease
Now I get the fever every time we're shooting the breeze
And my brain starts to freeze up on me
You're the only treatment that I wanna pursue
I got the kissing disease
Now I get the symptoms every time you're sitting with me
I struggle to breathe and can't speak 'cause
I just wanna lay one on you
I got the kissing disease
Now I know that you're the only doctor I wanna see
You said, "Take two of these," then kissed me and had me call you in the morning
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2. |
I Had A Kidney Stone
01:54
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There are a lot of things in life I'd like to experience
But this is definitely not one of them
It may sound stupid when I bitch 'cause it's so small
But at least I've got a lot of Vicodin
I woke up one morning, there was a lot of blood in my pee
There's nothing to fix it you've just gotta let it be
It was really pissed off and wanted to be set free
Yeah, the giant fucking stone in my kidney
So I went to the doctor and peed in a cup
She said, "There's a lot of blood in there and that's not cool."
I said, "Really? No shit, bitch. That's all you've got?
You should get your money back for those 12 years of school."
The next day I went and got a CAT scan
The nurse lady really liked my hair
The results were in and the doctor said,
"Guess what, Kelly? Got a giant kidney stone floating around in there."
I woke up one morning, there was a lot of blood in my pee
There's nothing to fix it you've just gotta let it be
Now there's only one thing that I seem to always hear
You should probably drink more water and drink less beer
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